Social Networking

Social-Networking Sites

What are they and why parents need to know.

The term for MySpace, Facebook, LiveJournal, Xanga, Linkedin, and a host of others (view list of over 125).

Don’t miss the news articles found at the bottom of this page.
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Moms and dads, it wasn’t too many years ago, as society began to obscure the line between right and wrong, that parents began to caution their children about not talking to strangers – and they had good reason.

Well, the online world of today actually encourages and promotes just the opposite. It started with “bulletin boards” and Internet “chat rooms” but now has exploded with the flourishing of social-networking sites. Kids are now talking with strangers more than ever, and often, to strangers who are not who they say they are.

So, what is a social-networking site?

The following is a general overview. Keep in mind, that there will be variations from site to site. Some you can browse and search without registering or joining, others require you to Login first before searching.

Social-Networking sites, Facebook and MySpace being the largest (with some 200 million registered users each from 13 years of age), offer users a way to meet friends, make new ones, share music, join forums (covering every subject imaginable), post personal profiles (often very personal in nature including suggestive pictures), set up web pages and blogs, secretly chat via instant messaging and email, and so much more. Users link with others by accepting them as “friends.” They are, then, automatically added to each other’s page of “friends” thus making their network grow even larger.

Why do parents need to know about them?

Here is the problem.

Think about this. In a news conference May 17, 2006 the U.S Attorney General put into motion a nationwide program to protect children from online exploitation and abuse. Among his various comments the attorney general said “that at any given time, 50,000 predators are on the Internet “prowling” for children.”

On Thursday, June 22, 2006 the Washington Post.com reported that the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children “Cyber Tip line” gets about 1,500 reports a week; it received more than 71,000 last year. They include complaints about child pornography and adults using the Internet to entice children for sex. At least 90 percent of the reports involve online activity.

These social-networking sites allow anyone to use a search function to perform a profile search using criteria such as; age, gender, home town, school, an area of interest, zip code, etc.

Here is a hypothetical, but all too real, example of a predator’s search criteria: Female, 18 years old, living within 100miles of zip code 12345, or, Female, attends high school X in the state of New York, Montana, California, or wherever. He hits the “enter” key and out pop names, pictures, and other personal information on perhaps dozens or even hundreds of your kids. These sites are like catalogs to them, with millions of choices. It is like a predator’s dream come true. Don’t fool yourself; your kids are at risk!

Once predators make a selection they often assume a false identity – perhaps even posting a false profile page of their own. Then they begin looking for ways to exploit their prey (your kids). They strike up conversations (online chat) about things in the kid’s public profile. They attempt to become friends in order to gain their trust. They try to find out if the kids are unhappy at home; depressed; are they mad at their parents; are they drinkers; do they smoke or use drugs; are they sexually active or interested in sex? The chat conversations will often get quite explicit. This information will be used by predators to manipulate and coerce. Another tactic predators use to lure their prey is to send gifts, cell phones for private contact, and even money. Eventually, the predator will attempt to set up a F2F (face to face) meeting (LMIRL – let’s meet in real life). This is why you need an Internet filter with a keystroke log function and the Chat Shorthand “Top 40-Parents Must Know” list.

***Mom and dad, if things have gotten this far, you are almost out of time. The nightmare is about to begin. You must wake up and take action to stop the inevitable.

What can parents do?

For purpose of explanation I will reference MySpace.com, but don’t forget your kids could be using others, and each site differs in its procedures, terminology, and terms of use.

If, using the information found below, you don’t find your child’s’ profile on My Space then ask them directly if they have a personal profile anywhere on the Internet. Most kids have accounts on more than one site. Be sure to check out all their sites.

The minimum age for My Space membership is 13 years of age. On June 21, 2006 My Space said it would limit contact between 13-to-15-year-olds and adults, improve privacy options, and target ads based on age. So, the 13 to 15 year-olds will be allowed only restricted access (private setting-the profile is not public). Keep in mind that there have been tens of thousands of children who have lied about their age in order to get around the restrictions. I recommend you check for your child’s profile from age eleven on up.

Go to: http://www.myspace.com/. Then, using the search function, enter your child’s name, email address, or some other personal information. If they are a member, their profile will appear (unless they are using a false identity). Read it, and decide whether you will allow it to remain on the site or be permanently removed. If it is to remain, be sure to periodically revisit the site to insure that the profile continues in the private or safe mode (only people you choose can view the page), and that there are no inappropriate materials associated with it. Remember; do not allow any personal information to be viewed by the public. Review the Kid Safe Cyberspace booklet (order here) and Internet Safety Tips flyer(linked here) for a listing of all personal information that should be restricted.

To change from public setting (default) to private mode you must first login with your child’s email and password. Then, go to ‘Account Settings’ – ‘Privacy Settings’ and follow the directions. Instructions for deleting a My Space account can be found by following this link.

Moms and dads, this is something you must do. I know, for many of you, it will be difficult because you do not want to deal with the arguments that will come from your kids. Put up with it; your kids are worth it! Do your homework by reading the Kid Safe Cyberspace booklet (order here), and the materials found on this web site. Then you can talk to your kids and truly inform them of the dangers. By the way, many Internet filters will block My Space as well as many other social-networking sites.

***Don’t be intimated by new technologies that seem second nature to your children. They may know more about computers, cell phones, Internet, etc, but you know more about Life. Don’t give up on your kids!

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Below you will find links to news articles that refer to social-networking sites. They cover, both, the phenomenon they have become as well as the dangers they pose.

These links will open in a new window. Some will  be in Adobe pdf format. If you do not have on your computer the free Adobe reader, you can download it here. Close that window to return here to KidSafeCyberspace.com.

Agent warns of Web dangers
Cops warn parents of MySpace risks
Facebook MySpace Bebo etc can ruin your life
Father warns-SN sites can be deadly
Man arrested for sex crime-met thru MySpace
Millions of girls using SN sites at risk
Parents join SN sites to keep tabs on kids
Predator’s Playground
SN sites used for human-trafficking
Social Networking Sites are Porn Directories
Teens easy prey for web vultures
Teens use MySpace for revenge
Virtual worlds luring children
Where Predators Gather

***Be a friend to your friends with kids and share this web site with them. You may prevent the heartbreak that is inevitable if Internet porn or other online dangers win the day.***